I am Learning Still.
” Oh my son, Look at what I’ve done.
But I am learning still, learning still,
Know that I am learning still. ” Missy Higgins
~When I was visiting my smallest children this past week… my son (who is six) was asking the difficult questions that parents often face. I wish they were easy questions, like why is the sky blue? Or, why do birds fly south for the winter?
Oh, no. His questions were about broken hearts, and why I hurt his Dad… and why I moved him to a new place where he was hurt ( he was abused by a despicable person ). All I could do was cry, and apologize over and over, for I know he hurts so.~
**My dear son,
Some things just cannot be answered.
I would have readily taken your place,
Taken the abuse, hurt, pain.
I just pray you do not question my love…
I would take away your painful memories.
I would sacrifice my very life.
Readily take away every sliver of your pain, your strife.
Take the poison. To prove my love for you.
I cry every single day.
For all the pain my actions caused.
Still a fresh wound, a kind of mourning.
Know that I am learning still. Please forgive me.
Standing, or kneeling, for you I constantly pray.
© bipolarmuse 2012