Will You Ever
Today your words cut at me…
Like a razor blade. Making me bleed
From the deepest depths of me.
Will you ever forget, or lessen the pain.
The threshing of your tongue, echo of blame…
Will it cease? Or in the least, lessen the sting.
I know who is. The one to rest this evil upon.
Will you see? That it is not the box that I stand on?
Can I help your heart, soul, and eyes to see beyond.
I stand in this place so very dark, with doubt and shame.
My protection should have held strong. I question if I am to blame.
Will your spirit forgive… see past the hurt, blame… my name.
I look to you for strength, purpose, and beauty…
Will you ever look toward me and ever see” just me”?
The one who sacrificed all… for you to be well and free.
Will you ever look to me again and only see your “Mommy”.
© bipolarmuse 2012
I was having a wonderful conversation with my youngest son who was abused when out of the blue he asked me why I took him to “Las Vegas” to be hurt by “Austin”. Of coarse I had no idea that he would he be abused by such a horrible person…. yet I am the one who has to answers the hard questions. I told him I was “sorry” and that I did not know he would get hurt… and that I NEVER wanted or knew he would get hurt. He then told me “Yea, I got allot of BooBoo’s”.
Can you imagine such a heart breaking conversation. There are so many people out there who ignore abuse or who are not fit to be parents at all. I adore my children… all of them. My son is one part of my heart and I have to convince him all the time that I NEVER intended for him to be hurt. Today… my heart broke… again.