Making the choice to move and be near my kids came with some rules that I placed upon myself and I was hoping that it would come easy to make these changes. The most important thing: to refrain from seeking attention from men. I have often noticed that I use sex as a tool to not feel alone…and a tool to “get” a man to fall in love with me.
Both of these things are wrong for many reasons.
So my goal was to just live and enjoy my kids… not get wrapped up in any men at all and just live life. I questioned whether it would be hard at all, but I can honestly say that it has been a piece of cake. I do not even take a second glance at men. Literally. I feel in complete control of the sexual side of me and I feel completely neutral.
Certainly a change from the me that I use to be.
I do have a desire to connect with friends… but I have no desire to take it to the next level. I feel relieved to feel so at ease.
I feel that… for once in my life… I am completely capable of just being with me. This is a huge breakthrough for me mentally.
I just may be learning to love me.