I think I could roll over and die… no 2nd guessing, no whimper, no begging and pleading. Just surrender to this hell… yet I can’t… this is all I get with them…
My heaven, my hell. Just here…so I must be.
Yet it’s hard. Inhaling feels like FIRE in my lungs, I feel like I am drowning… only inches from the surface. Every thought produces tears… fighting hard to keep them from surfacing. Every smile laced with poison… every laugh tainted. Every devilish beat in my chest reminding me I am here for them…
~written May 2010
© bipolarmuse 2010